Feeling human...
Today is the first day I have felt COMPLETELY healed. I hadn't realized how sick I've been these past few months. My immune system has been fighting all the toxic ick I've been ingesting and I think it's finally all out. I will be going out tonight, I will not be drinking or smoking. I will dance!!! I also realized just how wonderful my friends are. I think I've taken for granted those that support and love me, no matter what. The feeling is definitely mutual, and I'm hoping to make sure that everyone of them knows it. I feel lovey today and I want to hug everyone! Yeah, I feel better and I may/may not be starved for human interaction...

So relaxed...

Tuning out all the thoughtless ramblings that fumble over your lower lip,
Tired of the assault which is posed against my insides by your presence.
Each drop of bland utterance creates the glue to seal our fate,
And I sit here and explore the many wonderful routes that I may now explore.

I spoke with the apartment manager about moving into a smaller place...it will cost...well...a lot...yay... :::angry pouty face:::
I need my own space. I feel smothered and anxious all the time. I was forced into another conversation that I didn't want to have. For once, I am actually sure that we made the right decision. I feel confident that in time we will both be able to move on to a happier, less stressful life. It's late and I am exhausted. My brain needs to shut up...damn neurons!
*Side-note: I am enjoying a wonderful "distraction"...I am choosing not to classify it as anything else, because well, I am...my brain is muddled by the cuteness of you, and I'm okay with that...despite my initial hesitance. I just prefer not to act without thinking, but I am grateful for the collapsing of your star and my inevitable decent into its void..."Come, sweet oblivion..." Double entendres are so subtle...heh...

Last night made me dizzy....
...and I'm STILL dizzy...
I am at a loss for words.
Self-control seems lame in hindsight...LAME.

Otis Redding and a new song....
I heard Otis singing "These Arms Of Mine"....That song makes me want to cry, then slow dance, then cuddle while making out. Le sigh... That man!

Also, I've started writing a song. Here's a phrase that I hope to include. "My heart aches for someone trustworthy to hold it..." Yeah, I write mushy stuff, but it's honest! More to come....

The plan for tomorrow....
1: Wake up early and study Algebra.
2: Go take my Algebra final.
3: Go to the springs and swim; and then sit in the sun and read til I'm dry.
4: Breath again.
5: Practice my songs for show.
6: Get ready for a night out with friends at ze I-Bar.

Requiem Part Deux
On my way to Ocala to sing the Requiem once again. Tiiiiired!

1. Your Middle Name: Colleen
2. Age: 27
3. Single or Taken: Doppio
4. Favorite Movie: Right now....The Fountain (I'd like to believe that love can last lifetimes)
5. Favorite Song or Album: Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
6. Favorite Band/Artist: For the last 3 monts Sigur Ros, again.
7. Dirty or Clean: People = Clean, Deeds = Dirty
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Either/Neither
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?: Apparently not.
10. What's your philosophy on life?: Be good, and remember you're not perfect either.
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?: What is this confounded bottle, I have yet to see it.
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?: It depends.
13. What is your favorite memory of us?: "Making out" in the DJ booth. Scandalous!
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?: Nutella!
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: I am fluent in American Sign Language.
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?: 1: To own a "green" home. 2: To have a job that makes me happy. 3: To travel everywhere!
17. Can we get together and make a cake?: Nah, cookies.
18. Which country is your spiritual home?: Iceland.
19. What is your big weakness?: Believing in the intrinsic good of all people.
20. Do you think I'm a good person?: I don't know. Noone is ever who they seem to be.
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?: Music
22. Describe your accent: I can if I so choose. I'm an actress!!
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?: No. Change comes from within, who am I to say you "should" be too anyone?
24. What do you wear to sleep?: Skin. I hate bunched up clothing, and there must be air-flow. ie. fan Heat is not my friend.
25. Trousers or skirts?: Either.
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?: I'd like to say neither, but I can't. Ick.
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?: Probably nothing. I'm sure you'd hear about my death eventually.
28. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?: Pft.

I can't stop listening to this album...

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me

Anna's ghost all around
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
How the notes all bend and reach above the trees

Now how I remember you
How I would push my fingers through
Your mouth to make those muscles move
That made your voice so smooth and sweet
And now we keep where we don't know
All secrets sleep in winter clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he don't even know his name

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
And when we meet on a cloud
I'll be laughing out loud
I'll be laughing with everyone I see
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all

This song is so beautiful, and the video, creative...

Ten tons against me and you've gone
I put your favorite records on
And sit around
It spins around
And you're around again

Struck dumb while drugs run at how high reeds
Cue every memory at half-speeds
Just like.. Charles, hold-me-downs
I'm coming sounds
Cut crap, who's filling shoes like these anymore?

Past clumsy crushes beneath Thrill Pier
Hopes pinned to poses honed in men's room mirrors
A sophomore at Brown
She worked lost & found
I put your face on her all year

From five rows of photos when you wrote
Of posed you, dressed blue, in a backyard boat
And at the bottom with this quote:
(#4 North Shore) a Cape May address
Your new one I guess
'All's well in hell and here's hoping'

She sends kisses
Some signed 'with Love, Beth O's and X's
She sends kisses
Same old Beth
Some signed 6's
Our shore town knockdown sure was fun
yeah, white trash, what have you
I fired replies back gun by gun
past Seven Wrecks I read your four answers:
1. your move 2. I'm tres involved 3. move on 4. love, Beth
I walk it down
this tourist town
'just thought I'd' calls
just friends
she sends kisses
and all at once back doors blow open
she sends.... in envelopes stamped with 'Hope & Hearts' - ripped right open
she sends...
but I'm corrupt - I wrote back good luck


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